The Real Problem...

So I have to take a few seconds to congratulate myself on getting my first 10 on an AP paper, although it doesn't matter much anymore... cause it was from second quarter. But whatever, it still made my day!

Today is SOOO cold! Which is horrible, but at the same time I don't mind, as long as some rain comes along, freezes, and gives us a delay. Otherwise, the cold winds and the freezing temps are disliked all around. What's even worst, people are saying winter is over. Which suits half of me and annoys another. But beggars can't be choosers, and I am totally going for warm weather!

Earlier in this blog I mentioned on how I would love to spend as much time as possible with friends, especially since senior year is on the horizon and then college. But it seems that every time I try to hang out with anyone, especially those with after school activities (for ex. theater) I get shot down and told that "there isn't enough time to hang. Sorry. We will do it sometime later though! I promise." But it's not a real promise. I went from understanding, to being sad, to being mad, and now I am just plain annoyed! To hell with your after school activities. There is a time in life when those are important, but so are friends, and so is being available and not at the school till late hours of the night. And if you are going to ditch your friends for the times that you are required to be there, how about hanging with us when you aren't!? But then their are the newly made friends, and don't forget the cult thing. So we are dumped, forgotten, replaced, and misused. Oh, and lied to.

Fun.

But now I see that I am just venting. And I don't think that's right to do on a public website, but oh well. It's done. I can't say that I understand where they are coming from now.

Because I don't.

Excuses are lies made to sound nice, and lies are stories made to sound real, and stories are things people weave to keep others at bay or put them to sleep.

I feel far away from the people I love most, and sometimes I dream about the old times, when we were together; when I sleep.

Time today seems very real. It's hard to explain, even to myself. But most days you don't feel the weight of each second, most days you are counting down those seconds for something. Today I am trying to savor them. I am not doing a very good job though so far.

Like instead of typing this I should be rebeling against the lies and venturing out into the cold to fight the battles. I suppose those can wait. After all, those friends I need to battle with aren't even home.

They are at school.

So go figure.

History Class Today.

We were taking a second quarter assesment test.

"Tray, you need to quiet down. Alex, you too!" Mrs. Burke.

"Yah. Shhhhh." Bethany.

"Bethany, shut the fuck up!" Alex.

"Mrs. Burke, shut that bitch up." (He says this like a black kid). Tray.

"I don't have to be quiet!" Bethany.

"Watch your language. Both of you. Now be quiet." Mrs. Burke.

"Thank you." Bethany, mumbling.

"Now! That's just disrespectful!" Tray.

"I am trying to concentrate." Bethany.

"Ya. That's what I thought. " Tray.

"Tray, shut up!" Bethany.

"Mrs. Burke, Bethany is disrupting me during my test." Alex.

"Ya. Mrs. Burke. Can you tell Bethany to shut up." Tray.

"That's enough. All of you."

"Mmm. That's what I thought." Tray, mumbling.

"Hey Mrs. Burke. Are we supposed to be missing ten questions on this thing?" Alex.

"Yes. If you were listening when she explained it, you would know!" Bethany.

"Hey Bethany?!" Tray.

"What!?"

"SHUT THE FUCK UP!" Tray.

"That's just disrespectful." Alex, shaking his head sadly.

"One more word and you both are getting zeros!" Mrs. Burke.

"Hey wait a second! What about Bethany?!" Alex.

"I am doing my work!" Bethany.

"THAT'S ENOUGH!"

The exam was hard.